


In Space a Million Miles Away

by bispaceprincess



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Cursed, F/M, Post-Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 12:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5584696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bispaceprincess/pseuds/bispaceprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself!” She burst out. “That I roped you into this stupid plan that’s probably going to get us all killed. And I’m mad that you’re so willing to go along with it.”<br/>“So, I’m supposed to- what? What did you expect?”<br/>“I don’t know! Get angry! I fucking left, Bellamy. I left for 4 months and then I come back with another crisis and you’re just- you’re just-”</p>
<p>AKA. Clarke comes back with another war on her heels and can't stand that Bellamy is willing to help her, after all she's done.<br/>Inspired by the Fitzsimmons kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Space a Million Miles Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SandyPCoelho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandyPCoelho/gifts).



> For the not so secret true north salt squad holiday swap! Happy holidays Sandy!

“I think we can come around this ridge and set the traps here” Bellamy said, his eyes on the map in front of him.

“Just stop it” Clarke exclaimed.

He jerked his head around to look at her, his mouth falling open in surprise, “Clarke, what is it?”

“Just- just stop it, okay?!” She shouted, before storming out of the longhouse as fast as she could manage, breaking into a sprint just to get away.

* * *

 

“Where do you get off?” Bellamy said as he strided into her cabin, the cabin they had built for her when she was gone, not even sure that she was ever going to return. “Are you seriously mad at me?”

Clarke turned toward him, from where she had been staring at the wall and trying to push down the urge to punch it. She didn’t have the time or energy for bandaged hands and the worried looks they would garner her from everyone. She had had enough worried looks to last her a lifetime, usually accompanied by hushed whispers as she walked away. But she felt taut, like a livewire, buzzing with this electric frustration that she couldn’t contain anymore.

“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself!” She burst out. “That I roped you into this stupid plan that’s probably going to get us all killed. And I’m mad that you’re so willing to go along with it.”

“So, I’m supposed to- what? What did you expect?”

“I don’t know! Get angry! I fucking left, Bellamy. I left for 4 months and then I come back with another crisis and you’re just- you’re just-”

“You think I’m not angry?” He said his voice raising with each word. He stepped toward her, close enough that she had to tip her head up to keep looking at his face. “I’m furious, okay? I hate everything about this. I hate that we have find a way to stop a fucking grounder war when we should be worrying about planting crops. I hate that we’re going to have to make the impossible choices again because your mom and Kane still don’t understand what it’s like on the ground.”

Her eyes widened in surprise but she didn’t interrupt.

“and yeah, I fucking hate that you left, when I needed you, cause god Clarke, we did it together. You weren’t the only one who pulled that lever. And you leaving? That wasn’t you bearing our burdens for us. Which you would have known, if you’d fucking stuck around. Cause that’s not how that works. We make our choices then we get to live with them and the best we can hope for is someone to lean on and say we’re forgiven. But that wasn’t good enough for you.”

Then the fury dropped from his voice and his eyes, which had held hers all throughout his tirade dropped to the ground, “It wasn’t good enough for you. You know what I hate the most?”

She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

“I hate that I can’t hate you, because god I tried so hard. I want to hate you so bad, but I. just. can’t.”

“Bellamy, I-” She breathed, so quiet she could barely hear it herself.

He looks back up again, his gaze searing and said in a strangled whisper, “I can’t, even though you left me here with all our people to look after. I knew you had to leave because you destroyed yourself to save us.”

“And you infiltrated the mountain, got tortured! Because of me!” She blurted out, unable to contain the thoughts that had been rattling around in her head for months.

A pained look crossed Bellamy’s face momentarily before his eyes flickered down to her lips and he closed the distance between them, wrapped a hand behind her head and crashed their lips together. For a split second Clarke didn't react, surprised by what was happening. He started to pull away but then her brain caught up and her hands fisted into his jacket, pulling him flush against her and stepping back until she hit the desk with the back of her legs.

The kiss deepened and she was glad she had the desk to hold her up. Clarke swept papers and gadgets Raven had been working on earlier to the ground before bringing her hands up to card through his curls. He licked into her mouth and her hips stuttered up and he let out a small moan, unable to keep it in. It seemed to break through the fog of arousal and Clarke jerked her lips away, breathing heavily, her eyes fluttering open then catching his immediately.

“I- I can’t.”

He started to apologize, but she interrupted him, “I can’t let you get hurt. I’m cursed.”

“You’re not cursed.”.

“Yes. I am. Everyone I love gets hurt, or killed. Wells. Finn. _My dad_ . Can’t you see? I can’t hurt anyone else,” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “I can’t hurt _you_.”

“Clarke, you’re not cursed. People aren’t cursed. You’re not cursed," Bellamy insisted, stepping back, but keeping a hold on her arms, like he was afraid she was going to run away before he said his piece. "We just live in a shitty, violent world and you didn’t hurt those people. Your mom is to blame for your dad’s death, not you. Wells was killed by a little girl who got shitty advice and wasn’t raised by anyone so she would know better because of the arks stupid rules. And Finn? He killed 18 people because he was messed up, you were just the excuse. None of those deaths are on you, okay?”

“What about you? I hurt you,” Clarke replied in a small voice, unable to meet his eyes.

He stepped back in and nudged her face up to look at his and said, “Yeah, you hurt me. But you pushing me away or leaving again isn’t going to save me from your nonexistent curse.”

Clarke felt a single tear escape and roll down her cheek. Bellamy paused for a moment to rub it away with his thumb before continuing, “I’m here, and I’m going to keep being here for you and no curse is going to change that, because we make the rules down here, or did you forget?”

Clarke gave him a watery smile and nodded. He pulled her head into his chest, cradling the back of her neck. She felt him press a kiss into her hair and she let out a small sigh. She wanted him to be right so badly. She had spent so long alone, or with grounders either being exalted as the wanheda, which made her want to die, or being hunted, because Lexa had placed the blame for TonDC on her, even though it had been her idea. Slowly she raised her arms and hugged him back.

They stood there in the empty cabin, clinging to one another silently for a moment, forgetting everything else in the world. The death. The pain. The impending war. Nothing else mattered but his heartbeat thrumming under her cheek; the soft scent of the shampoo Monty had invented in her hair as he breathed her in.

 

Of course this was them, so the moment didn't last long.

She pulled away, enough to look at him, and just as she began to speak the door swung open loudly. They sprang apart and looked toward the intruder, Raven, breathless and excited, followed shortly by Monty, with a similar expression.

“We figured out how to cut off the Azgeda,” Raven announced.

Clarke looked over at Bellamy, who gave her a rueful smile, “Well, what are we waiting for, princess?”

She quirked her eyebrow and returned the grin, “Ready whenever you are.”

  


**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://bispaceprincess.tumblr.com/)


End file.
